Friday, June 3, 2011

musings of a hopeless romantic

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more; that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds."
from the The Notebook

"I know you; I walked with you once upon a dream."
from the movie "Sleeping Beauty"

"You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love and love and love you."
from the movie, "Pride and Prejudice"

I used to call myself a hopeless romantic. I could come up with super romantic date and proposal ideas that were worthy of any cheese-ball romantic comedy. I was/still kinda am addicted to the warm fuzzies you get from romantic movies.  But I then would be disappointed when I wasn’t treated as well as I thought I deserved to be. At the same time, I would try my hardest to live up to the fantasy girlfriend that I imagined my boyfriends wanted. With no fault of anyone but my own, I would be disappointed when the efforts weren’t returned. Was I expecting too much? Was I setting them up for failure? Was I right to want to be treated differently? Or is he still out there?  How do I get passed my own self and appreciate what I have, or rather, maybe stop over-thinking every situation. Or how do I k now when the battle is over and to look for that guy somewhere else?

Perhaps society has given me a disillusioned idea of what love is. I constantly feel pulled in a thousand different directions of what situations SHOULD be like  or what I SHOULD think or want. So, how do I know what I want is what I, me, myself wants, or what I am pushed to want or what is realistic and what is unattainable.  Damn those romantic movies, love songs on the radio and ALL of  Disney!!! When you wish upon a star, it doesn't ALWAYS come true.

I see elderly couple that are still madly in love with one another. They still flirt and hold hands HOW DID THEY KNOW??? I see young couples with a small baby madly in love with one another HOW DID THEY KNOW??? I see couples of all shapes, sizes, races, sexual orientations, and religions in love with one another. How did they know that THIS  person is ‘the one’. How did they know that THIS PERSON would make them happy for the rest of their lives, through thick and thin? Perhaps that is what dating is for…but one could spend YEARS with a person that they aren’t meant to be with….or perhaps are,  and break it off because they don’t see the greatness they have before them. Have I messed up my life?

"When you look into her eyes, you know what kind of man you wanna be."
from movie, "Spiderman" <I WANT TO BE THIS GIRL>…is that hopeless and will i recognize it once i have it?

Hopeless romantic…or romantically hopeless? I don’t know. But I do know this was all totally cliché.

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